As I continue my volunteer experiences on Saturdays, this week I want to talk about a conversation I had with a Baby Institute "alumni," father who graduated from the 9-week program in 2013. This is an African American father whose wife is the family's breadwinner and Dad is the primary caregiver. This father approached me on Saturday at the Baby Institute Graduation. The conversation focused on completing his college degree and pursuing his dream of becoming a strength and conditioning football coach.
When asking further questions of him so that I could (hopefully!) guide him in the right direction, this is the story he shared:
He (I will hereafter refer to this person as Sam), was awarded an athletic scholarship to a large Northeast state university, but did not have strong enough entrance scores to be accepted into the university. Instead, Sam attended a smaller university in the Midwest and was only one of six African American students in the entire university. He said there was one African American faculty member; she was a Dean of the Cultural Studies Program.
Sam went on to share that he felt as if none of his professors understood him or related to the language Sam used. Sam said he became a student ambassador for the college and recruited 30 African American students while in this role. In his third year of college, Sam dropped out without finishing his degree. As Sam shared this, I kept reflecting on the information we have explored throughout this course.
Then, one night when Sam was driving home from his job as a bouncer (2:00 a.m.), he was stopped by the police. When they found a gun in Sam's possession, he was arrested and charged with a felony for carrying an unlicensed weapon. Sam explained that all paperwork had been filed and he was just waiting for the final approval. When I asked Sam why he had been stopped, Sam asked me if I had ever heard of "B.M.W.? I had actually heard this term on numerous occasions (Black Man Walking) and told him it was familiar to me.
Although Sam was never convicted of the felony, it is still on his record, so this continues to preclude him from getting a job.
This (all too familiar) story brings home so many of the challenges people of color, especially black men, face as part of their lives. Sam is a wonderful, caring human being--a loving father and husband, and a role model to other African American boys. He will reach his dreams because of his determination and commitment to his family, but his path is more challenging than that of others, partly because he is an African American male.
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ReplyDeleteJudith,
ReplyDeleteThese stories are so much more powerful than any text. I'm so thankful for the work you are doing and for sharing it with us!
Hi Judy,
ReplyDeleteYour story on Sam was powerful because as a black woman, I have seen many black men in my county go through the same scenario when they are stopped by law enforcement. In fact, their is one city where I live that if your a black man and drive into that city you will be stop. Because of this most of the black men I know do not like driving into that city.
Judy, Sam's experience sounds all too familiar. I can recall when I was a guidance counselor. A special education teacher, grade k, was kicked and punched by a white female student and the principal call the student's parent. The same teacher was kicked and punched by a black male student and the principal call the police. i'll never forget that day....the police called on a kindergartener. wow.
ReplyDeleteJudy,
ReplyDeleteI've heard this scenario quite a few times as someone who has two brothers in law enforcement and myself with a mostly criminological academic background it is something that we have all dealt with. My brothers both are white males with interesting takes on why certain officers treat those of color with little to no regard. My younger brother has often commented that one really should be more afraid of white people because honestly they tend to commit the most violent crimes. He had a black partner for a while and would always say that his insight was inspiring. He'd always wanted to be a police officer and took pride in his job even though he would sometimes take heat for it. He wanted to be a tie to the African American community to show them that not all cops are power hungry. I think my brothers and I have all learned a lot from our background and I for one would really like to try to help change these situations.