As I continue my volunteer experiences on Saturdays, this week I want to talk about a conversation I had with a Baby Institute "alumni," father who graduated from the 9-week program in 2013. This is an African American father whose wife is the family's breadwinner and Dad is the primary caregiver. This father approached me on Saturday at the Baby Institute Graduation. The conversation focused on completing his college degree and pursuing his dream of becoming a strength and conditioning football coach.
When asking further questions of him so that I could (hopefully!) guide him in the right direction, this is the story he shared:
He (I will hereafter refer to this person as Sam), was awarded an athletic scholarship to a large Northeast state university, but did not have strong enough entrance scores to be accepted into the university. Instead, Sam attended a smaller university in the Midwest and was only one of six African American students in the entire university. He said there was one African American faculty member; she was a Dean of the Cultural Studies Program.
Sam went on to share that he felt as if none of his professors understood him or related to the language Sam used. Sam said he became a student ambassador for the college and recruited 30 African American students while in this role. In his third year of college, Sam dropped out without finishing his degree. As Sam shared this, I kept reflecting on the information we have explored throughout this course.
Then, one night when Sam was driving home from his job as a bouncer (2:00 a.m.), he was stopped by the police. When they found a gun in Sam's possession, he was arrested and charged with a felony for carrying an unlicensed weapon. Sam explained that all paperwork had been filed and he was just waiting for the final approval. When I asked Sam why he had been stopped, Sam asked me if I had ever heard of "B.M.W.? I had actually heard this term on numerous occasions (Black Man Walking) and told him it was familiar to me.
Although Sam was never convicted of the felony, it is still on his record, so this continues to preclude him from getting a job.
This (all too familiar) story brings home so many of the challenges people of color, especially black men, face as part of their lives. Sam is a wonderful, caring human being--a loving father and husband, and a role model to other African American boys. He will reach his dreams because of his determination and commitment to his family, but his path is more challenging than that of others, partly because he is an African American male.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Entry 7-Baby Institute and Milk and Muffins (Saturdays)
In this week's experiences with the parents at both the Parramore Kidz Zone Baby Institute and at Milk and Muffins, I sat in on the classes for the parents and was delighted to hear the parents talk about their newly-acquired knowledge from these classes!
In the parent class for parents of infants, one of the fathers (19-years old) was talking about a show about whales he had seen on the show, "Animal Planet." As the dad related some of the qualities of whales--their intelligence and traveling in groups due to their social needs, he explained that when whales are isolated from each other, they become aggressive. Next, this dad made the connection between what he learned about whales and how children react when they are given a time out! I was so excited to be able to see this father's learning and generalizing of information which came directly from the parenting class!
An anecdote I want to share occurred at Milk and Muffins. One of the participants (three-year old white girl) was engaged with a UCF student in an activity. Another UCF student (African American) sat down in anticipation of joining them in play. The three-year old immediately said that the new student could not play because she was black. When this student attempted to appease this child, the child began to kick her.
I walked up at this moment and the African American student came up to me, obviously upset and explained what had occurred. At that point, I intervened in the situation by having all "players" join me on the carpet as I modeled how to support the child's learning and to bridge her prior knowledge with the current learning opportunity. After approx. 5 minutes of modeling, I was able to fade out of the play situation and have the three (UCF students and child) continue interacting with each other.
At the end of that session, I explained to everyone the developmental appropriateness of the three-year old and the role we play in teaching diversity to our children.
It was indeed a hurtful lesson at first, but one which will resonate for a long time for both UCF students.
I continue to learn each week when I volunteer with these two programs, it is truly authentic learning for me!
In the parent class for parents of infants, one of the fathers (19-years old) was talking about a show about whales he had seen on the show, "Animal Planet." As the dad related some of the qualities of whales--their intelligence and traveling in groups due to their social needs, he explained that when whales are isolated from each other, they become aggressive. Next, this dad made the connection between what he learned about whales and how children react when they are given a time out! I was so excited to be able to see this father's learning and generalizing of information which came directly from the parenting class!
An anecdote I want to share occurred at Milk and Muffins. One of the participants (three-year old white girl) was engaged with a UCF student in an activity. Another UCF student (African American) sat down in anticipation of joining them in play. The three-year old immediately said that the new student could not play because she was black. When this student attempted to appease this child, the child began to kick her.
I walked up at this moment and the African American student came up to me, obviously upset and explained what had occurred. At that point, I intervened in the situation by having all "players" join me on the carpet as I modeled how to support the child's learning and to bridge her prior knowledge with the current learning opportunity. After approx. 5 minutes of modeling, I was able to fade out of the play situation and have the three (UCF students and child) continue interacting with each other.
At the end of that session, I explained to everyone the developmental appropriateness of the three-year old and the role we play in teaching diversity to our children.
It was indeed a hurtful lesson at first, but one which will resonate for a long time for both UCF students.
I continue to learn each week when I volunteer with these two programs, it is truly authentic learning for me!
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Entry 6-Parramore Kidz Zone (Saturdays)
This past Saturday I was at the Parramore Kidz Zone Baby Institute. After 6 weeks of the 9-week session, it is evident that the parents have bonded with each other and the staff. The staff continues to greet each family warmly and throughout the five hours of the program, the staff makes every attempt to meet each parents needs--whether it is holding their babies while they eat, serving them breakfast and lunch, or listening to them about their week's experiences.
The sessions are now filled with (non-hurtful) teasing and a lot of honest reflection.
In one of the parent classes the parents talked about their frustration with their child's other parent regarding the lack of support received. The mothers in the group talked about how they felt as if their child's father was like having another child. Although this frustration is not limited to urban families, the lack of resources and support compound this issue. It also makes me wonder if one of the reasons for multiple pregnancies is linked to the mother's need to feel loved--by both the man and a new baby.
I believe that the more support-type of groups parents have as they are raising their children, the less alone the parents will feel and these connections might help to fill some of the need to be valued and to belong. As part of this program, we emphasize the importance of attending Baby Institute each week--both for their own well-being, and also as a commitment to the other parents in the group. At the beginning of each class, if someone is absent, the teacher asks if anyone has been in contact with the absent parent. If not, then we will drive to the person's house to check on the family and to invite/encourage them to come to the program.
Last Saturday there was a parent absent from class and the other group members said they had tried to reach this mother for the past few days, with no response. I drove over with another Baby Institute staff member to check on the family. Unfortunately, there was no answer at the door (and some watchful neighbors wary about our presence). Baby Institute's family worker, a social worker, will follow up on this family. While driving through this neighborhood which is walking distance to Baby Institute, it was distressing to recognize that this was clearly once a neighborhood where everyone took pride in their homes and now many of them were either abandoned or in disrepair. The juxtaposition between this neighborhood and the beautiful, cloudless, sunny day was evident.
My "wondering" questions from this past week's experiences are:
The sessions are now filled with (non-hurtful) teasing and a lot of honest reflection.
In one of the parent classes the parents talked about their frustration with their child's other parent regarding the lack of support received. The mothers in the group talked about how they felt as if their child's father was like having another child. Although this frustration is not limited to urban families, the lack of resources and support compound this issue. It also makes me wonder if one of the reasons for multiple pregnancies is linked to the mother's need to feel loved--by both the man and a new baby.
I believe that the more support-type of groups parents have as they are raising their children, the less alone the parents will feel and these connections might help to fill some of the need to be valued and to belong. As part of this program, we emphasize the importance of attending Baby Institute each week--both for their own well-being, and also as a commitment to the other parents in the group. At the beginning of each class, if someone is absent, the teacher asks if anyone has been in contact with the absent parent. If not, then we will drive to the person's house to check on the family and to invite/encourage them to come to the program.
Last Saturday there was a parent absent from class and the other group members said they had tried to reach this mother for the past few days, with no response. I drove over with another Baby Institute staff member to check on the family. Unfortunately, there was no answer at the door (and some watchful neighbors wary about our presence). Baby Institute's family worker, a social worker, will follow up on this family. While driving through this neighborhood which is walking distance to Baby Institute, it was distressing to recognize that this was clearly once a neighborhood where everyone took pride in their homes and now many of them were either abandoned or in disrepair. The juxtaposition between this neighborhood and the beautiful, cloudless, sunny day was evident.
My "wondering" questions from this past week's experiences are:
- Is there a connection between having multiple babies and the need to feel loved?
- How do we instill pride in the community where we live?
- Is money the true issue or is there a deeper reason for living in run-down homes with overgrown yards?
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Entry 5
This past week I was able to look through the lens of pre-service teachers as they visited an urban elementary school. This Title 1 school is located near downtown Orlando and, in addition to families from the neighborhood, it has many students who live in the Coalition for the Homeless Shelter. I selected this school as an observation site because it is one which has many star teachers (thank you to this week's Martin Haberman article for assigning a name to what my students observed!).
At first, some of the students were tentative in their feelings about the school. One student, after hearing the principal's description of the school's population, told me she "felt sad" for the children. However, by the end of the (3-hour) visit, the tone of the students had changed completely. Their feedback focused on the positive school climate, how the teachers maintained each child's dignity even when an incorrect answer was given, how happy all of the staff and faculty seemed at the school, and how welcome they made the children and visitors feel.
When I asked what indicators helped them in processing these observations, the overwhelming response was that ALL of the school staff/faculty seemed to care about each child--it felt like its own community.
The students were upset to find out that this school was going to be closed in a couple of years to make room for a K-8 school. They could not believe that such a successful school would be closed. A discussion ensued with talking points relating to whether a school in a "different neighborhood" would be closed when it was successful, and how the students could advocate to keep this school open.
I will continue to focus on the need for teacher education programs to move out of the traditional content course teaching and truly prepare teachers for their role as professionals, advocates, and a commitment to becoming star teachers.
At first, some of the students were tentative in their feelings about the school. One student, after hearing the principal's description of the school's population, told me she "felt sad" for the children. However, by the end of the (3-hour) visit, the tone of the students had changed completely. Their feedback focused on the positive school climate, how the teachers maintained each child's dignity even when an incorrect answer was given, how happy all of the staff and faculty seemed at the school, and how welcome they made the children and visitors feel.
When I asked what indicators helped them in processing these observations, the overwhelming response was that ALL of the school staff/faculty seemed to care about each child--it felt like its own community.
The students were upset to find out that this school was going to be closed in a couple of years to make room for a K-8 school. They could not believe that such a successful school would be closed. A discussion ensued with talking points relating to whether a school in a "different neighborhood" would be closed when it was successful, and how the students could advocate to keep this school open.
I will continue to focus on the need for teacher education programs to move out of the traditional content course teaching and truly prepare teachers for their role as professionals, advocates, and a commitment to becoming star teachers.
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